“Mom, Dad, I’m gay.”
“Ok… so do you want pizza for dinner or just McDonalds?”“Mom….I’m…”
“Gay. Yeah.”
“You knew?”
“I ship you and your best friend.”
“Ship?”
“I ship it.”
“Well…We’re dating. Is it fine?”
“Does he like reading?”
“Yeah. He read all those old books you liked when you were a kid. You know that series about those Greek god kids and wizards and that boy who bakes a lot and that-“
“You have my permission to marry him. Now let’s go to Disneyland.”^…GPOY.
Or if its a girl
“Mom…I like girls the way i’m supposed to like guys”
“No you like girls the way you’re supposed to like girls. With tits and kissing. Its the right thing”
“But-“
“Shh here have a glee calendar with naya rivera from 2011”
“But mom that’s objectifying-“
“shh lesbians”
“Mommy, would you love me if I’m gay.”
“Yeah, why? Are you?”
*nods*
“OH HONEY I ALWAYS KNEW YOU WERE THE GOOD CHILD!!! GET MOMMY’S GLEE WE’RE GOING TO HAVE A GLEE MARATHON. LESBIANS. BRITTANA. CHRIS COLFER. GAY. YES.”
omg the commentary…
wait are you reading my diary or what
Emma Stone by Woody Harrelson
Emma’s so mature and unflappable, but there were two people I saw her get really excited about meeting - Bill Murray and Paul McCartney - and that was when I saw there’s still a little girl in there somewhere. Emma and I are both big Beatles fans. I’ve known Paul awhile, and I love introducing people to him because it’s pretty great to meet Paul McCartney. So I took Emma and Kat Dennings over to his house one night. He was there with Nancy, who’s now his wife. We were doing this thing - I think it was suggested by Kat - where you all put two fingers under someone and try to lift them. So we were lifting Emma, and Paul was just laughing convulsively. She was pretty psyched to meet him.
And as for Bill Murray, he only worked with Emma and me on Zombieland for 24 hours. But at the end of it, he said, “That Emma is pure gold.” Believe me, it’s a much bigger statement than it sounds like because Bill doesn’t ever say that shit. He was knocked out by her. He really thought the sky was the limit for her - and it absolutely is. We’re just beginning to see what she’s capable of. She’s going to blow people’s minds.
